3 min readNew DelhiFeb 12, 2026 12:00 AM IST
You need not be harsh when providing negative feedback; use the sandwich method. Experts highlight it as a constructive way of communicating, especially when one struggles to say ‘No’. “By inlaying argument with empathy and positive reinforcement, this methodology allows a person to deliver a negative or critical statement owned up to the recipient as to make it feel less confrontational,” said Dona Singh, clinical psychologist, senior consultant, Udgam Mental Health Care and Rehabilitation Centre.
Notably, the method is structured around a negative statement followed by two positive ones. “Every time you say yes against your will, you say no to yourself. It allows you to really say no in an assertive and compassionate way, helping to ensure well-earned boundaries and healthier interactions,” said Singh.
Here’s how it works:
Positive state: Kick off with something approving or appreciative. Respecting and valuing another person reduces defensiveness. For instance, if you are invited for an outing, say something like: “That sounds like a great idea; I really enjoy spending time with you.”
Deliver the negative message: clearly and directly introduce the refusal or feedback. It’s important to avoid excessive apologies or unnecessary ambiguity, as this often leads to confusion. “I’m sorry; I won’t be able to join you all this weekend, for I have other engagements.”
Complete with another positive or suggestion: Close with something that supports goodwill or suggests an alternative. e.g. “Let’s plan for the next weekend instead; I would love to spend time with you then!”
This approach is especially beneficial because it respects both parties’ feelings. “It enables the individual to refuse to set up his or her boundaries without ignoring the other person’s point of view. To the recipient, this makes rejection less painful and disappointment less likely to soften the acceptance of the message,” said Singh.
Here’s a method that can help you (Source: Freepik)
Singh reiterated that the method is a practical solution for people who have difficulty saying ‘no’ due to fears of rejection, offending others, or being perceived as disrespectful — “these are all childhood challenges.”
Story continues below this ad
“It has helped the person to soften the negative impact of refusal by prioritising the value of the relationship so that one can say no without guilt, look after the interests of self, and remain in good mental health,” said Singh.
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to. Always consult your health practitioner before starting any routine.
