The human mind is a complex entity and our reactions and daily habits often act as mirror to our truest, deepest self. And sometimes, they can reveal something which may not be otherwise apparent.
Picture this: 30-year-old Mahi Dixit is gregarious, always surrounded by friends and family, looking at every opportunity to go out with people and rarely wants to be at home, and almost never, by herself. Almost everyone thinks Mahi is extrovert, outgoing and a social person. While all these are true to certain extent, what often gets overlooked is the fact that Mahi is afraid of being alone – not just physically, but also alone with her thoughts.
According to psychology, people who most of the times struggle with being alone with their thoughts largely need external validation to manage their emotions. Dr Gorav Gupta, Senior Psychiatrist, Tulasi Healthcare, Gurgaon, shares, “A constant need for company can reflect high levels of social dependency, where a person relies on others to feel emotionally secure or comfortable.” This means that the person is often in need of another human to feel confident in their own skin.
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Dr Gupta further points out that this behaviour pattern is often linked to an anxious attachment style, where being alone may trigger uneasiness or worry. “Then there are some people who use constant social interaction as a way of avoiding difficult thoughts or emotions, like stress or inner discomfort. It may also indicate low self-confidence or difficulty being alone, which makes independence feel challenging.”
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Many studies reflect what Dr Gupta says. According to mental health experts, self-aware people tend to enjoy their own company and they tend to have stronger emotional ndependence. And as you are not depended on external validation, you tend to forge relations out of genuine interest rather than the fear of being lonely. A relationship, based on choice and not merely dependence, is mark of healthy attachment, psychologists point out. Interestingly, people who are comfortable spending time by themselves are also often touted to be more loyal and consistent towards their friends and partners and their attachments are largely genuine,
But while this is generic trend, experts also admit that the need for company does not always indicate problematic attachment. Sometimes, it can be simply attributed to a more outgoing personality. As Dr Gupta says, “Seeking company isn’t always a problem. Naturally extroverted individuals simply prefer being around people more often.”
