While most parents strive to keep their intimate lives private, what if it may not always be possible? But should parents get intimate in front of their baby? Research, including insights from Dr Michele Borba, author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions, notes that if your child is younger than six months old, there is typically no cause for concern. “Infants at this age are often in REM sleep mode, and their awareness of their surroundings is minimal, making it safe for parents to engage in intimacy,” said Sahiba Sethi, counselling child psychologist and founder – Ummeed Healing.
However, as children grow and develop, their awareness of their bodies increases. “During this stage, they may begin exploring and touching their body parts. It becomes crucial for parents to avoid engaging in intimate acts in front of children, as witnessing such behaviour can have a lasting impact on a child’s mental health. Such experiences may imprint on the subconscious mind, potentially triggering premature curiosity and an urge to explore sexual behaviour,” added Sethi.
Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD (A.M) psychotherapist, life alchemist, coach and healer, founder and director, Gateway of Healing said, when sexual activity occurs where children can see or hear it, “it disrupts essential boundaries they need to learn”. “This holds regardless of the child’s age – a toddler’s inability to comprehend sexual activity doesn’t make exposure to it appropriate or harmless,” said Dr Tugnait.
Sigmund Freud’s theory of psychosexual development provides a valuable framework for understanding how children progress through various stages of awareness in three phases:
The Phallic Stage – Focused on the penis or clitoris.
The Latent Stage – A calmer period with little libidinal interest.
The Genital Stage – Focused on the genitals during puberty.
According to Freud, successful navigation of these stages contributes to a healthy adult personality. “However, unresolved conflicts at any stage may result in fixation, leading to long-term behavioural issues. If children are exposed to inappropriate scenarios at a young age, such as witnessing parental intimacy, it may lead to adverse consequences, including behavioural changes during puberty. These can manifest as increased sexual curiosity, addiction to explicit content, or premature attraction toward the opposite sex,” said Sethi.
What to consider when engaging in intimacy with your child around (Source: Freepik)
To safeguard a child’s mental and emotional development, parents need to be mindful of their actions and maintain appropriate boundaries, along with teaching them how to manage their stages of psychosexual growth without shaming them for it. “By doing so, parents can promote a healthy environment conducive to the child’s overall well-being,” said Sethi.
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What can help?
Practical solutions exist for maintaining intimate relationships while protecting children’s well-being.
Dr Tugnait mentioned the following guide
*Parents can create private time during nap schedules
*Use child-safe locks on bedroom doors
*Establish consistent bedtime routines.
“These arrangements protect the child’s emotional health while nurturing the parental relationship,” said Dr Tugnait.
Open communication about child development principles is crucial for parents facing disagreement on this issue. “While one parent might desire immediate intimacy and another might take a casual approach, both positions need to consider their child’s developmental needs first,” noted Dr Tugnait.
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Experts highlight that keeping sexual activity private is vital for children’s healthy growth. “When parents keep intimate moments separate from family time, they protect their children’s emotional development. Young minds need clear rules about privacy to grow up healthy. Setting clear rules about privacy and personal space lets parents maintain their intimate relationship while creating a safe environment for their children,” said Dr Tugnait.
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to. Always consult your health practitioner before starting any routine.
