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In a recent HigherEdJobs Careers & Coffee conversation, Kelly Cherwin, director of editorial strategy at HigherEdJobs, spoke with Daniel B. Griffith about how communication, trust, and conflict shape day-to-day work in higher education.
The session focused on the idea that the way people work with each other matters just as much as the work itself.
Griffith, a mediator, educator, lawyer, and HR leader with more than 30 years of experience, is also an author in residence for HigherEdJobs and a longtime contributor. Based on his experience, he encouraged attendees to take a more deliberate approach to their day-to-day interactions at work.
Rethinking “Soft Skills”
What if the skills often labeled as “soft” are actually what holds the work together?
“The so-called soft skills are the actual work we do,” Griffith said.
He pointed out that communication, listening, and negotiation are not occasional tasks because they constantly show up in everyday work. From team conversations to problem-solving, these skills shape how work gets done.
Shifting that mindset, he explained, can make a difference. When professionals see these interactions as part of their role and not as something extra — they tend to approach them with more confidence.
A Different Way To Approach Conflict
The conversation then turned to conflict, something many professionals try to avoid. Griffith challenged that instinct.
“We shouldn’t run from conflict,” he said. “We need to see it as an opportunity for better outcomes.”
He explained that conflict becomes harder when people assume the other person is already against them. That assumption can shape the conversation before it even begins.
Instead, he encouraged starting with a ‘listen first’ mindset.
“I’d like to understand what your concerns are,” he said.
This can lower tension and open the door to a more productive conversation.
Working Across Differences
When Cherwin brought up cross-campus collaboration, Griffith pointed to a common issue — people may say they want to collaborate, but they are not always clear on what that looks like.
He encouraged professionals to define shared goals early.
“[You] need to not just present [your] need and expect compliance,” he said. “We need to understand what [others] need.
Taking the time to understand both sides can help move conversations forward and reduce frustration, especially when working across departments or leadership styles.
What Builds Trust Over Time
Trust came up as a consistent theme throughout the discussion. Griffith said it comes down to reliability.
“You say you’ll do what you’ll do, and you do as you said you would,” he said.
He also noted that trust is shaped in small moments — following through, communicating clearly, and checking in when something feels off.
Repairing a Misstep
When trust is strained, Griffith said repair is possible, but it does not happen instantly.
“It’s not just going to be words,” he said. “It’s also the time to prove it.”
Rather than trying to fix things in one conversation, he emphasized steady follow-through. Over time, consistent actions can help rebuild credibility.
Building Connections Across Campus
The conversation then moved to relationship – building and career growth.
Griffith acknowledged that connecting with others — especially senior leaders — can feel intimidating, but encouraged a simpler approach.
“You don’t have to overthink that conversation to just say hello,” he said.
He suggested starting with genuine curiosity — learning about someone’s work, asking questions, and finding ways to engage across campus.
Over time, those connections can grow into stronger professional relationships.
Leadership and Team Culture
During the Q&A, the discussion turned to leadership.
Griffith pointed out that one of the biggest challenges in many workplaces is not open conflict, but the lack of it.
“What we’re more in danger of is not raising conflict at all,” he said.
When people hesitate to speak up, issues can go unaddressed. Leaders, he explained, play a key role in creating an environment where team members feel comfortable sharing concerns and working through differences.
Acknowledging Workplace Challenges
Before closing, Cherwin recognized the possibility that not all workplace relationships are positive. Power dynamics, difficult interactions, and unhealthy environments can be real challenges in higher education.
Griffith agreed and noted that some situations require additional support, whether through HR, ombuds offices, or other resources. In some cases, it may also mean thinking about longer-term decisions.
Still, many everyday challenges, he said, can improve through clearer communication and consistent effort.
What Productive Workplace Relationships Look Like in Practice
Griffith’s advice came back to small, repeatable actions that can show up in everyday work:
- Start with listening. Before sharing your own view, ask questions like, “Can you walk me through your concerns?”
- Follow through. Do what you say you will do, even in small tasks
- Check in early. If something feels off, address it instead of letting it build.
- Clarify shared goals. When working with others, make sure everyone understands what they are working toward.
- Keep conversations simple. Building relationships does not have to be formal — sometimes it starts with a quick, genuine interaction.
- Be consistent after making a mistake. If trust is strained, focus on steady actions over time rather than a quick fix.
Key Takeaway
There is no single moment that builds a strong working relationship. It happens over time — through conversations, follow-through, and how you handle challenges when they come up.
View the recording of this Careers and Coffee session on YouTube.
About Careers and Coffee:
HigherEdJobs’ Careers and Coffee is a series of live, interactive Zoom conversations with experts in higher education. Designed to help job seekers and higher ed professionals reflect meaningfully on their careers, the series offers expert advice and insights on best practices, emerging trends, and career-related issues. View a list of all sessions.
